When Mary awoke from her stupor, she found herself lying on a pale yellow canvas couch covered in lavender and yellow colored quilt, in what was a suite of the ballpark. Looking out through the glass patio doors in her direct sightline, to the deck of the suite, she saw that Scott and Cara were sitting on chairs which faced the baseball field while Chase stood leaning against the railing on the furthest edge of the deck talking to Peggy who stood beside him. Idly, she wondered where the others were as she shifted her weight preparing to sit up but stopping, her body half up, when she saw felt a message from Tracey entering her mind.
It was as though her mind had just been blank other than thinking of getting up, and now it was filled with a thought, rather a message, that was not her own. It was a strange, yet familiar, sensation that she was slowly becoming re-accustomed to.
She decided to lie back down as she used her mind to ask Tracey, “What was that?”
“I am here for you too.” Tracey’s message filled her mind. “Just like Betsy.”
“Thank you,” said Mary aloud, softly but audibly, forgetting that she could just concentrate on thinking of her response back rather than needing to speak audibly.
“Did you know I am another of your spiritual guides?” asked Tracey.
Shaking her head, Mary focused on thinking the word, “No.”
She was processing this sort of information and wondering how Tracey had become her spiritual guide when another communication from Tracey crossed through her mind.
“After I died while in captivity, I decided that I wanted to help others who had experienced the same fate as me and try to protect them. Deep inside of your mind, you know now that is was you that disappeared- not Betsy. You were taken just as I was. I know that you do not remember what happened but I believe it will come back to you and I will be there to support you when it does, as will Betsy.”
“Wow,” said Mary in a hushed voice.
Once again, she was taking in a lot of information for one day. In a way it felt oddly reassuring to know what she had learned- to know the truth and understand she had been a victim both in the car accident her father had caused by his drunk driving and in an apparent kidnapping, facts which she was still processing, and to know that she had two spirit guides in Betsy and Tracey but it was mind-blowing at the same time.
She thought back to those times she had slumber parties with Betsy as a child and realized that rather than an actual physical friend, she had been lonely and had set up the extra bed for her spiritual counter-part who really didn’t require the actual bed. Somehow by setting it up, she had fulfilled her need for company at a time in her life when she felt shy, isolated and often, in the case of her father, abandoned- pushed aside for his preference, his alcohol. She could only guess that her mind had felt those same emotions during the time of her kidnapping which had caused her to alter her belief of Betsy’s existence.
Now that she thought about it, the implications of the information she had learned were incredible for this meant that Scott had not had a relationship with her best friend at all because her best friend was not alive. Had she been Scott’s girlfriend and did she feel guilty because she couldn’t remember their relationship so she had conjured up a convoluted reason for why she could not be with him? Were their feelings she had for Scott that were buried deep inside her subconscious waiting to be revealed to her? Or would those memories remain locked indefinitely?
And, then if feelings for Scott did re-surface how would that affect her new relationship with Chase? And what did it mean that she had dreamt of marrying Chase? Was that who she was destined to be with or would her destiny be altered if her memory fully returned? Did she want her memories to fully return in the first place? It was clear that there was no danger eminent for Betsy, and Tracey had already moved on to the next life, so would it serve any purpose for her to regain that missing time, to account for the blind spots in her memory, if it would only bring up a very difficult, traumatic and tortuous time? So many questions swarmed in her mind at once that she could scarcely comprehend them and had no idea how to handle it all.
“You can do this, Mary,” said Tracey deciding to show herself in physical form. Her image hovered in front of the couch and yet Mary could see through her to her friends who were still just outside the closed sliding door. “The truth needs to come out. You need to remember. There are things that only you have the power to do. I know that this does not make a whole lot of sense to you right now but it will. You have to trust me on that. You will understand in the end how important this is.”
Mary nodded soberly, still not convinced that she was strong enough to accomplish all that Tracey was suggesting for it seemed that not only would she need to remember what had happened to her and face it but there were things she needed to do beyond that to make things right. She did not know how she exactly came to this conclusion but she knew, somehow in her gut, that this was the case. She did not know what lie ahead in terms of what she needed to do or how she would accomplish it and it was quite disconcerting, especially in light of trying to handle just what she had learned since she came to Summer Island.
It all seemed like a whirlwind. In a matter of a days, she knew a lot of information she either had forgotten or did not know in the past. She had two cousins from her father’s side of the family who were psychics and were here on Summer Island. She herself had psychic abilities that often manifested in dreams and the same could be said for her father. There were those who knew the truth of what she had forgotten but were waiting for her regain her memory on her own.
Scott was a psychic and that was why he had come to Summer Island last summer and why he was here again. It was not because of wanting to reconnect with memories of Betsy because Betsy was actually Mary’s spirit guide. And he had genuine feelings for Mary that were not conflicted by a prior relationship as Mary had once believed. He had watched as a new relationship blossomed between her and Chase which she could only imagine had been painful for him yet he put his feelings aside and gave her mind the time it needed to begin the healing process and, she was sure he hoped, to remember her feelings for him if that was possible. And neither of them knew if it would be possible.
There were all the challenges that came with being a psychic and, on top of that, Mary had to face the very difficult fact that her father had nearly killed her by his reckless actions. He put not only himself and others on the roadway at risk but he put his daughter at risk rather than choosing to call a cab or simply stay home. She could not remember where they were going that day nor the more finite details of the accident. And the period in which she recovered was completely hazy. In fact, she could not recall exactly what her injuries had been, obviously, other than the amnesia.
Then, at some point after the car accident and after her recovery from it, she had disappeared in what was apparently a kidnapping. Other than the dream vision she had experienced in the Summer Island library while Peggy and Hope were doing research, Mary had no memory and no idea of what had happened to her. There was also the vision about Tracey trying to escape but she did not know how much that connected with what had happened to her, although based on the messages from Tracey and her own instinct, which she wondered if she could really trust, it seemed the disappearances were connected. It was no wonder that her mind had become completely boggled- for her body first needed to heal before her mind could with all that had happened. And she wondered if her mind would ever heal completely.
Filled with self-doubt, it was with much trepidation that Mary thought about how her friends had found her wandering the woods just the previous day. She would have to face the fact that, even as recently as the previous day, she had experienced some sort of loss of memory for she did not know how she came to be in the woods nor why. She only felt embarrassed and confused about it afterward.
Tracey spoke to her once more saying, “I know you doubt yourself but I have faith in you. Do you know why I chose to be your spirit guide?”
Shaking her head, Mary thought to herself, no, she didn’t know or understand a lot of what had been happening. She felt clueless. It was as if she was staggering through a storm, similar to the storm from which she had been rescued the day of the car accident. In the darkness, with rain pelting her and obscuring her path even further, she fought the elements and searched for the answers to all her questions that she might find peace, that she might find the rainbow at the end of the storm, or that, at minimum, there would be a break in the clouds so that she could rest, gather facts and gear up for the next stage of the storm.
“I’ll tell you,” said Tracey, smiling as she looked down at Mary. “I chose you to guide, not only because I feel connected to you and not only because I want the best for you, but because you can help me to grow. I know that you are capable of achieving what I could not. You are strong, Mary. You have a beautiful heart. You can help people with your unique gifts.”
“In my life I was not the nicest person, something for which I am now atoning for. In order to, move up so to speak, in my realm and to find peace with my own passing and peace with the mistakes I made in my own life… In order for me to grow spiritually and to look back at what I have accomplished with no regrets, while helping someone whose character I greatly admire, I seek redemption by guiding you to a path which I could not reach myself.”